10 Random Poker Quotes

• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it