10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• it is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time: you can even fool some of the people all the time: but you can't fool al of the peole all the time. -Abraham Lincoln
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.