10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.