10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth