10 Random Poker Quotes

• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.