10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.