10 Random Poker Quotes

• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."