10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."