10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury