10 Random Poker Quotes

• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts