10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels