10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.