10 Random Poker Quotes

• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "No river, no fish."
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.