10 Random Poker Quotes

• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson