10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---