10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.