10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."