10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)