10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.