10 Random Poker Quotes

Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
Welcome to kicker school
Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.