10 Random Poker Quotes

• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "No river, no fish."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.