10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..