10 Random Poker Quotes

• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.