10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Poker is for loners.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.