10 Random Poker Quotes

• Welcome to kicker school
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• Fish don't eat Nutz!