10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth