10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph