10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.