10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.