10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.