10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• Welcome to kicker school