10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth