10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)