10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"