10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"