10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.