10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Welcome to kicker school
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"