10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus