10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• It's Free To Fold...
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson