10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim