10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters