10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow