10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!