10 Random Poker Quotes

• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."