10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Welcome to kicker school
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.