10 Random Poker Quotes

• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A