10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Poker is for fat, American losers.