10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• It's Free To Fold...
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus