10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.