10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A